Mr. Q’s list of people who should be deported

Oh no he di’int. (Think of a woman named Laquisha saying that). I decided that since people seem to be under the impression that Qatari’s have a magical iPhone application that enables us to deport people with the touch of a button, then I might as well create a list of people that I wish I really could deport.

1) The guy in the right lane who decides to not just turn left at a round about, but also attempt a U-Turn. You know who you are Mr. crappy pick up truck or busted up Honda Civic.

2) The guy who says ‘next week’. You know the guy. He works in a small store, and when you walk in and ask if he’s got something, he says ‘Next week’, when he KNOWS he’s not getting them in next week. He just wants you to come by the store again. That’s like the equivelant of night clubs in the UK that build up a cue outside, even though nobody is inside!

3) Crappy customer care agents. Who promise to call you back soon and don’t. No I don’t mean they don’t call back soon. They never call back…. Never.

4) That guy who stares so hard that he either might have constipation OR thinks he’s superman and is trying to shoot lazer beams out of his eyes. Yeah Yeah, we live in a society where there is a 3/1 ratio of men to women, but common!! These dudes don’t just stare down women, they stare down everyone! I feel naked when they look at me :(

5) All those people who never smile or say thank you when you hold the door open for them. Although it was my life long dream to be a door opener, I never graduated from door opening school, so I never got the job… I open doors for free now. Well maybe not for free payment is a smile or thanks!

6) Lazy Traffic police. I think they didn’t get the memo. Traffic police aren’t supposed to CAUSE traffic. Why is that there’s always a super build up of traffic at a round about?

7) Roundabouts. While I’m dreaming. Let’s deport roundabouts. Bring over underpasses and bridges to keep traffic FLOWING.

8) Both insensitive and sensitive people when it comes to religion. Can’t handle people wearing a bikini at a beach? Don’t go to that beach. Think it’s funny that some people cover up a lot when they go to the beach? Then… *sighs*….

9) Guys with pointy shoes. You definately know who I’m talking about. They usually wear tight shirts, have greasy hair, and pointy shoes. Looking like you came straight out of Saturday Night Fever is NOT going to come back into fashion! Women like men that are clean and look fresh. Plus you might poke someone’s eye out with those shoes!

So who do YOU think should be deported?

  • Amir

    Sounds like a lot of Qataris and Indians will be leaving soon….!!! LOL !!! There’s not going to be anyone left.

  • http://www.dohamums.com ExpatMum

    This is hysterical – well done Mr. Q!

  • novita

    I smiled while reading this …. thank you for bringing back Doha’s memory ;-)

  • Saeed

    That actually suprises me…i dont mean the round about stuff or street but u seem to have dealt with stupid ppl if nobody smiled to u or said thank cuz i do it all the time and so do the ppl i know…anyhow everywhere in the world has its downsides so we need to be optimistic cuz Qatar is not that bad…if anything it is better than a lot of countries..

  • Elena

    Haha, hilarious, and so often true.

    who would i deport:

    husbands that stare.

    if i am European, and dressed like one (nothing overly open of course) and your wife is next to you in an abaya, don’t, please, DON’T stare in a way that makes me feel like my clothes is being taken off! have some respect! if not for me then at least for your wife and her hijab.

  • Elena

    Haha, hilarious, and so often true.

    who would i deport:

    husbands that stare.

    if i am European, and dressed like one (nothing overly open of course) and your wife is next to you in an abaya, don’t, please, DON’T stare in a way that makes me feel like my clothes are being taken off! have some respect! if not for me then at least for your wife and her hijab.

  • http://sharronclemons.co.cc/ Sharron Clemons

    Sounds like a lot of Qataris and Indians will be leaving soon….!!! LOL !!! There’s not going to be anyone left.

  • http://www.iloveqatar.net Kei

    Correction, the idiots will be leaving ;)

  • http://profiles.google.com/annieashworth A Sprinkle

    So funny, and so true. I’d deport the guys driving 70 on the highways. And the ones trying to kiss your bumper. And the… I better not get started.

  • Scary Azeri

    oh yes…the ones trying to kiss the bumper have to go first. i agree with a sprinkle. :-)

  • Tamm

    i would deport underage drivers,, there are soo many around almarkhiyeh?? and what about parking in the middle of the road for a chit chat with the car on the other side causing a traffic jam?? how about a banner on mall doors with dress code rules !!!

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